I See You, Mama

I see you, mama.

Tired, in the supermarket, with yogurt on your shirt. (You’re actually not sure if it’s yogurt. It could be a slew of fluids, but you decide yogurt is the safest guess for your sanity.)

I see you, mama.

Anxiously checking your phone in that board meeting, praying the sitter has everything under control. That no one has a fever, ear infection, melt-down. This meeting is important, but you know when the call comes, you’ll have to go.

I see you, mama.

Waddling through Buy Buy Baby, gritting your teeth through yet another Braxton Hicks contraction. Stocking up on wipes, bottles, onesies. You want to be prepared, but you know no amount of list making and babyproofing is enough to fully ready you for the hurricane of love and confusion that is about to hit your life.

I see you, mama.

Being everything to everyone. Never having a day off, ever. Giving and giving until nothing is left. But, what do you give yourself? Do you give yourself a minute? A meal? A cup of coffee?

You are our friend, our sister, so it’s up to us to remind you that you too are a person. That, even with children, you deserve to thrive. It’s healthy, it’s important. Put your health and happiness on your to-do list. As your friends, we’ve made up a list of things you can do to brighten your day. Even if it’s just for a millisecond, you deserve some peace.

1) Eat something.

I know, I know. You don’t have time. But honestly? The laundry will still be there, and ain’t nobody got time for a hangry mama. Make yourself a sandwich. Dice up an avocado and tomato and sprinkle some balsamic vinegar. It takes three minutes to prepare and eat, and those healthy fats are magic for mom brain.

2) Sit the heck down.

For ten minutes, every day. Get out your yoga mat, breathe, and repeat this:

“I am strong.

I am beautiful.

I am worthy of loving.

I am a good mom.

I am doing my best.

I am enough.

I am so enough.”

Are you listening when we tell you that everything we just wrote is true – about you and every mama out there, doing her best? Sit down with a book – one that’s not about parenting, there is plenty of time to sift through mom blogs – and read. Laugh. Smile. It’s good for you.

3) Tell your spouse about your day.

Reflect. What were the highs and lows? Ask him to sit down with you, no phones allowed, for 20 minutes. Share wine or tea, and reminisce. It’s a wonder how much a simple conversation – a real, uninterrupted conversation – can change your whole day. End the conversation with a hug and kiss. Affection makes us whole.

4) Treat yourself.

To coffee. A manicure. A walk around the block.

5) Get enough sleep.

Your list of to-dos isn’t going anywhere. It will be there at 6 a.m.; waiting, judging. Push it aside at a reasonable hour and get some well-earned shuteye. We like to spritz ourselves with a little bit of Essential Facial Toning Mist (available in Duckworth NYC’s toiletry kit here) and practice breathing.

(Practice breathing, you say? If you have a toddler, chances are you haven’t taken a deep breath all day. Breathing – if only for a few minutes – changes everything.)

These are simple, common sense ways to shift your whole day. But, sadly, most of us need a good girlfriend to tell us to do these things.

So here we are, to tell you:

You are amazing. You are a warrior. You are enough.

You are seen.

We see you, mama.